December 29, 2021 · The Harvard Crimson

I tell myself it wasn’t rape

A student grapples with the aftermath of a sexual assault. She initially tells herself it wasn't rape because she liked the man, despite not finding him physically attractive. Their interaction started at a party, leading to a brief encounter. However, at a subsequent themed party, after consuming a lot of alcohol, she has no memory of their encounter, only to be told they had sex. In the following months, she seeks validation by attempting to engage with him, using alcohol as a coping mechanism and humor as a shield. Despite her outward efforts to maintain normalcy, she privately struggles with the pain and confusion of her experience. The author is conflicted by societal pressures to find good in her assailant and blames herself. She concludes by recognizing the assault's impact on her identity and behaviors, admitting her struggles with alcoholism and her conflicted feelings. This acknowledgment offers her a sense of release and a hope for understanding from others.
Creator
Anonymous
Publisher
The Harvard Crimson
Date
2021-12-29
Local URL
https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2021/12/29/introspection-sexual-assault-anon/
Tags , ,
Date Added March 26, 2024
Date Modifed July 13, 2024
Collection Harvard and Sexual Assault